"The Leadership Cost of Unmet Expectations"

At West-X, Nate Cottrell shared an insight that hit home: Unmet expectations are one of the greatest killers of relationships—whether in our personal lives, workplaces, or leadership roles.

We often have unrealized expectations—ones we don’t even know exist until they go unmet, leaving us frustrated or disappointed. These hidden expectations can impact our spouses, significant others, colleagues, and even bosses.

Then, there are unspoken expectations—the ones we are aware of but hesitate to voice, whether out of fear or uncertainty about how to communicate them.

Finally, some expectations were spoken, discussed, and even agreed upon—yet somehow, they remain unmet, leading to frustration, resentment, and a breakdown in trust.

Regardless of the type, unmet expectations can taint our view of our work, leaders, and teams, slowing productivity and creating unnecessary tension. As Stephen M.R. Covey teaches, teams that cultivate a speed of trust move faster and further together. But when we avoid difficult conversations or fail to communicate expectations, we risk damaging trust—and everyone suffers as a result.

Next Step: Have the Difficult Conversation
Take a moment to reflect on your own expectations—are they hidden, unspoken, or unmet? Ask yourself:
Have I clearly communicated my expectations?
Have I assumed someone else understands what I need without saying it?
Have I given others the opportunity to share their expectations with me?

If any of these resonate, this is your reminder to have the difficult conversation. Courageous communication fosters clarity, trust, and stronger relationships, whether with your boss, a team member or even at home. Unmet expectations don’t have to be a leadership killer if we address them head-on.

Let’s commit to leading with clarity, courage, and trust.

-Michelle